A good friend told me that she has begun acting on a same sex attraction she has been pushing away for years.
“Fine,” you might say.
Except she’s married, and her husband is supporting it.
“Good,” you might say, “as long as everyone is happy.”
Except that all the people involved are Christian.
“So what?” You might respond, “God made us who we are and they’re all consenting adults.”
True. But what you might say is not what’s on my mind. It’s what I might say.
I’m a Christian too, in fact I’ve shared my faith closely with this friend and have leaned on her for prayer again and again. But here she is, clearly living outside of the boundaries of acceptable sin. Yeah, I said acceptable sin. You know – the sins that everyone participates in so everyone overlooks them – that’s acceptable sin. Just bring up politics in a room full of Christians for a demonstration.
We’ve talked about my friend’s feelings about God and the church and they’re not as black and white as “God wants me to be happy and the church doesn’t.” Her question is more “If God all loving what does that look like?” I translate that as “Can God forgive me so I can be happy?”
What does God’s unfathomable love look like anyway?
I know a roomful of Christians who would tell me I shouldn’t associate with this sort of decision. I should tell her what the Bible says and if she chooses not to be my friend anymore, so be it. I can’t grasp that. It’s too easy.
To quote verses and hide behind the notion that I don’t want to be tainted by her sin is ridiculous. Something you do to feed your own sense of holiness. The one that says “I had a friend who decided they were gay and then they stopped being my friend because they didn’t want to hear about God.”
Fact is, it’s easier NOT to deal with the problems that will arise in the life of a friend who is dealing with this. It’s easier – cleaner – to walk away with a quick hug and a promise to pray for them.
I kind of want the other way. I want to get dirty and muddy and beat up as I walk the road with my friends and family, and they walk it with me. Dear God how thankful I am that they choose to walk it with me.
I may not choose to leave my marriage for a same sex relationship but each day I live with jealousy, pride, greed, sloth – you name it and I’m probably guilty. Sometimes they quote the Bible at me but you know what? They only do that when they know I’m ready. When they know I’ve admitted to a sinful behavior and committed to confront it, then they are my accountability. In the meantime, they are the heart of Jesus.
I thank Him that none of us are too good for His love.
Author Archives: kmyvz
How do you frighten someone who’s been raised from the dead.
Truth and heart from Ravi Zacharias!
You make me want to be a better woman
Connie Britton on Friday Night Lights makes me want to be a better women – a better wife – and after 33 years, this is great feeling. Not 33 years of marriage, but 33 years of entertainment.
The first time I remember being inspired by moving picture was when I was 7 and Princess Leia…yes, you heard that right…made me want to be regal. White Nights made me want to be a dancer, Out of Africa made we want to visit see a bigger world, Logan’s Run made me interested in science (I know, but you never know where inspiration will come from.) And I’d be remiss not to mention the way that Disney taught me that dreams, while they may only be that, are worth entertaining.
Connie’s character Tami embodies what I love about being a women – independence, smarts, sensitivity – a full plate of confusion mixed with certainty.
As the FNL crew moves on – thank you Ms. Britton, for reminding us that grace today can look like a wife, who is also a partner.
The Age of Outrage
It is the age of outrage. I would say it was the first, but that would just be a lie to cover my own ignorance. Obviously, there were the 60s… then the feminism of the 70s. The 80s claimed no outrage but instead gave it all up to excess, but the 90s rebounded nicely as the Internet brought us consumerism and global concerns. At the end of the ’00s we again have a nation apoplectic with rage.
Are we better for it? A lot of talk rolls around about “engaging in the conversation” these days. Igniting any fire is acceptable as long it ends in that clause. But at the end of the talking, who is listening?
I don’t have the answer to that question, I’m just asking. Yes, just talking.
Do we dare to listen as much as we dare to burn with conviction?
The issues are real. Real in a way that our vocabulary fails. Alarmingly? Disturbingly? Shockingly? All, and none. How do you make others care?
What makes you care?
What does that mean anyway?
I’ve been home a lot during the day and listening to talk radio while I work. I love New Life Live, a call-in discussion show about relationships, love, life, addictions…you name it and these people are pretty much equipped to talk to you about it.
Almost every day there is a call about someone whose marriage is in trouble. Or they’re reeling from divorce, or they don’t know what to do with the current boyfriend – always women, men rarely seem to take these questions public. Tonight at the gym I flipped past the Suze Orman show and for some reason I stopped. Suze was trying to get the whole story from an emotional, beautiful, exotic woman who met her husband at 18, married, and years later discovered his massive, crushing debt.
Watching this segment I heard the phrase that, as a Christian woman, raises my hackles: “You need to support me.” It was her husband telling her that she needed to follow him into yet another money making scam, since she had the good credit that would get them qualified.
As a husband – as a MAN – I can’t tell you how important it is for you to be someone who is worthy of support.
Karen Marya 